Twitter introduced a new feature called “Fleets,” which are tweets that disappear after 24 hours. If the horrified/angry/confused reactions are any indication, it seems many Twitter users would rather they disappear now.
Twitter announced the new feature in a tweet (naturally) that read “That thing you didn’t Tweet but wanted to but didn’t but got so close but then were like nah. We have a place for that now—Fleets! Rolling out to everyone starting today,” and which featured a video with peppy-to-obnoxious theme music:
That thing you didn’t Tweet but wanted to but didn’t but got so close but then were like nah.
We have a place for that now—Fleets!
Rolling out to everyone starting today. pic.twitter.com/auQAHXZMfH
— Twitter (@Twitter) November 17, 2020
Politicians, media figures, celebrities, and other verified Twitter users had some thoughts, not many of them positive. Some mocked the feature’s homonymous relationship with a popular brand of enema, others noticed additional unwelcome changes to the application, while still other users took the occasion to lobby for an “edit” button. And there were jokes.
Does the fleets thing stress anyone else out? Like I use Twitter to get away from IG stories, not have it follow me around on every platform reminding me that I don’t have makeup on
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) November 17, 2020
Nightmare https://t.co/0M5KYRJ19l
— Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz) November 17, 2020
UM WHY DOES MY TWITTER LOOK LIKE IG ???? FLEETS ???? pic.twitter.com/01y77A7Z6r
— lauren ✄ (@laurDIY) November 17, 2020
sigh a lot of yall are mad at Fleet without even trying it. i know enemas arent for everyone but colon health is important yall, have an open mind
— Tracy S. Turkeys (@brokeymcpoverty) November 17, 2020
Fleet, Twitter’s new disappearing-tweet feature, is also the brand name of a saline enema. pic.twitter.com/BMiYKgGHf3
— Ian Bogost (@ibogost) November 17, 2020
I’m not saying Fleet is a stupid name, but enema need to get used to it.
— Xeni Jardin (@xeni) November 17, 2020
If the fleet doesn’t work, I recommend an enema.
— RoseySATX🏡😷 (@roseyfortx23) November 17, 2020
Has anyone made the connection yet that Fleet is a brand of enema?
— Logan Levkoff, Ph.D. (@LoganLevkoff) November 17, 2020
Cause of death: FLEETS pic.twitter.com/XanW35Ruau
— Pat McAFLEET (@PatMcAfeeShow) November 17, 2020
Soooo… Twitter really thought naming a product “Fleet” was prudent.
Orrrr maybe they did it just so these jokes could fly.
🤔🤔🤔
— Luvvie is the #ProfessionalTroublemaker. PREORDER. (@Luvvie) November 17, 2020
A gentlemen in the tweets but a freak in the fleets
— PFTCommenter (@PFTCommenter) November 17, 2020
Honestly, Twitter does everything but gives us the edit button we’ve been asking for basically since its inception. #fleets pic.twitter.com/zW9ynZ68AC
— Alexis Cubit (@Alexis_Cubit) November 17, 2020
Twitter: Check out this new feature. Fleets so cool, right?
Members of Congress: Just give us the edit button.
Twitter: NAH!
— Congressman Chuy García (@RepChuyGarcia) November 17, 2020
We asked for an edit button! https://t.co/RS5CrtPeMl
— Katrina Cameron (@KatCameron91) November 17, 2020
Fleet?
Ohh.
We thought you said YEET. pic.twitter.com/OTPDo06iZ3
— Washington Nationals (@Nationals) November 17, 2020
I don’t want a fleet.
I want an edit button.— David Begnaud (@DavidBegnaud) November 17, 2020
What is the point of Fleet
when you can just delete a tweet
Twitter, I don’t get it
We just want edit— 🍁Imani Gandied Yams🍁 (@AngryBlackLady) November 17, 2020
I’m avoiding fleets like Melania avoids Trump’s hand
— Jackée Harry (@JackeeHarry) November 17, 2020
yall “hating” fleets while posting them pic.twitter.com/Hsl4QnYpfp
— Steadman™ (@AsteadWesley) November 17, 2020
“that’s it. that’s the fleet.” — someone I’m going to block
— Moh (@LessIsMoh) November 17, 2020
We are in the end game now
— Caleb Howe (@CalebHowe) November 17, 2020
ok i actually may become obsessed with it
— JEN KIRKMAN 👩🏻💻 (@JenKirkman) November 17, 2020
I’m not 100% going to unfollow the first person to post a “Fleet” into this section but the odds are very good pic.twitter.com/uAGsgCM0MA
— Hayes Brown (@HayesBrown) November 17, 2020
Twitter has altered with fleets.
Pray it doesn’t alter any further 🙏 pic.twitter.com/keZiAOTyAz
— David Leavitt (@David_Leavitt) November 17, 2020
It’s amazing how many projects @Twitter will develop to avoid confronting the task of eliminating Nazis from the user base. https://t.co/Jw7mhra4yf
— Ron Hogan (@RonHogan) November 17, 2020
Look on the bright side: at least they didn’t greenlight the two-character limit.
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